Fan Art

crypto doesn't change your life, it consumes it

Pretending your crypto portfolio is a diversified investment strategy while your life savings disappear into a random meme coin named after a cartoon dog.

this point even the blindfold has better risk management

Pretending your financial advisor didn't just quietly liquidate your entire portfolio to buy a private island.

remember: the house can wait, but the pump can't

perfectly healthy eyes, financially blind.

Because nothing says "long-term financial planning" like ignoring rent and utility bills to buy the absolute local top on a 50% leverage cascade.

Darth Vader pointing at a whiteboard with crossed-out names ending in BITCOIN

Blowing into a Nintendo cartridge hoping it fixes your Bitcoin portfolio is peak crypto risk management.

The bottom-left quadrant explains 90% of retail investors buying memecoins right now.

Opening 24/7 futures and options trading so institutional algorithms can liquidate your leveraged long positions on a Sunday morning.

Spending $4M+ on personal security for the CEO because flexing on-chain wealth finally caught up with reality.

still bullish on the next cycle

HODL until the end of time

once a bitcoin maxi, always a bitcoin maxi

crypto turns rational people into professional gamblers

Financial advisor? Nah, professional BTC evangelist.

In Satoshi we trust

Watching the fiat world burn around you while your cold wallet stays completely untouched

The Fed is strongly opposed to an audit while a guy in the back gives the only financial advice that actually matters.